My Rose colored glasses… are really blue

As a child I clearly remember wondering if a strawberry tastes the same to me as it does to you? Can red really express the same hue as perceived by me as it would perceived by you? And how could I really ever know. Not to say that I have successfully abandoned the robustly simple philosophy of my youth, but perhaps it has evolved slightly.

Some decade of years later I find myself pursuing a career whose unspoken motto is “Therapy lacking empathy is futile.” Yet I have to admit that I find the relentless push towards a phenomenological understanding somewhat elusive.

Call me doubtful, psychotic and perhaps even a science-hater, but I still cling to the idea that each and every being on this earth is completely unique. If this is not true, then it’s safe to assume that God runs out of ideas. I can see the culturally-saturated Christians raising their eyebrows at my assumption that God is tremendously unlimited regarding the creation of each life and the creation of the cosmos. I simply cannot bring myself to place my confidence in a Devine being whose creativity expires.

This said, I continue to struggle with the concept that one soul can completely understand another. To give voice to the devil’s advocate inside me, I tend to agree with my profession that therapy void of empathy leaves you with nothing save cold psychoanalytical structure; a far cry from what most individuals actually need.

For years of my life I wept and mourned over the realization that that I was eternally misunderstood. My comfort, and healing no doubt, came solely from the passage “The man who loves God, is known by God.” Known by God; leaving me to believe that the full access to the comprehension of a human soul is restricted to Divine ability.

Yet perhaps, that Divine ability is imparted on some occasion. Yet regardless, my perspective will never look the same as yours. My failures, successes, experiences, struggles, abuses and beliefs equate to a constellation that has yet to be matched and mirrors none other.

Perhaps it’s the effort; the age old idea that “it’s the thought that matters.” Perhaps our world is so deficient of souls exerting the effort towards another to understand them that the most powerful psychological healing we know of to date is simply empathy.

As I slowly progress towards the seemly intangible goal of my education, I have struggled often to develop then substitute my concept for that of a globally accepted one; often with the simple inclusion of the Creator. So perhaps my personal motto should also differ slightly from that of my generational colleagues. Therapy without the effort of empathy is futile.

And for that matter, human relationship without the effort of empathy is futile.

on my heart...

"We are refugees from the statue quo. This world is not our home. We could care less about religious categories and controversies. We love people, we love Truth, we love GOD. We work for justice. We do not promise a quick fix, but a compassionate, humble conversation. We know no easy answer for why people suffer, just a person who suffered."

no distance of place nor lapse of time can prevent my soul from missing...

Moments like thses aren’t meant for words. Moments like these aren’t meant for pictures; just writing about them makes them feel cheap.

I wish every honest eye that is starving for serenity could fixate on this...

Until they drink every drop needed till their soul overflows from inside of them and turns to envelop them in sweet, fearful security…the blatant intrigue—unquestionably unfathomable.

It doesn’t hurt-but it pierces right here. I wish I could cast my being to be only a part of this mist—in a million ways I feel as if I can hold it—touch it—possess it. In a million ways I feel as if I am a thousand years separated from it and that I will receive a bruise on my eyes simply for looking at it.

It—this fragment of an image of You—You whom I long for more that sentries long for the dawn, yes more that sentries long for the dawn.

The expressive beauty of music

These lyrics are to a song called Mary's Song. It's written and preformed by the Tyler Ward band. A clear expression of the beautifully powerful forgiving nature of our Christ.



She let her hair fall down beside him
As the teArs fell on his feet
She had given more than who she was to the wOrld
Will you hoLd her up... or let her fall... or stand strong without wavering
With just a word I will lift you up a word of lOve can change anything

‘Cause you take aWay... please take away my pAin

I need this change things won’t ever be the same

He looked her in the eye with passion when he spoke the word that said it all
No matter what you’ve done I’ll love you and I’ll love you through it all
I'lL hold you up, it’s tearing you down, might is strong without wavering
With just a word I will lift you up a word of love can change anything

I’ll take away... I will take away your pain

You need this Change...it won't ever be the sAme

Love (luhv) - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

I don't deserve this- You. I'm not worthy of your comfort, yet you cry with me. I shouldn’t even get close to your protection- but you wrap me inside your arms- inside your thoughts. When I come with nothing, you open your hands, your time, your soul and strongly beckon me with silent caressing looks ‘til I reach your palms and melt into your embrace. You tissue my sodden eyes, grapple my quivering body, and bear the unforgiving weight of time in my stead. Your presence absorbs pain. You claim “uselessness” – curse your claim! ‘Oft I feel as if I cannot breathe without you; when I’m suffocating you come as an ocean of oxygen. Curse your claim! When I’m standing on the fringe of pain, primed to let go of my balance and collapse into the space void of hope, your body, anchored in sanity and sweet truth envelopes mine and grounds me so fast on the certainties of the Divine. Your nearness is enough- but you do not stay distant enough to be near. You crowd my breath and challenge it with who is closer. The dimensions of your beauty seem perpetual, the span of your love…incalculable.

Two things...

There were two things I told someone recently that I want in life; Space and Simplicity. Two elements I feel are stripped away by our every-day ciaos. While always desires of mine, latent at times…perhaps unidentifiable, I have recently found my way back to them.

Not my words...

These preciously convicting words from St. Augustine have weighed on my soul for many years... Just thought I would share them:


Without You I am Nothing

I call upon you, my God, my mercy, who made me, and did not forget me, although I forgot you. I call you into my soul, which you prepare to accept you by the longing that you breathe into it. Do you desert me now when i call upon you, for before I called upon you, you went ahead and helped me, and repeatedly you urged me on by many different words, so that from afar I would hear you, and be converted, and call upon you as you called to me. For you have wiped away all my evil deserts, O Lord, so as not to return them to these hands of mine, whereby I fell away from you, and you could restore them to your own hands, whereby you made me.

For before I was, you were, and I was nothing to which you could grant being. Yet, behold! I am, because of your goodness, which preceded all that you made me to be, and all out of which you made me. You did not need me, nor am I not such a good as you would put to use, O my Lord and my God. I am not such as would serve you in such wise that would would not tire out, so to speak, from activity, or that your strength would be less for the lack of my services. Nor am I such as to cultivate you like a land that would be untilled unless I tilled it. I am such a one as may serve you and cultivate you, so that because of you it may be well with me, for from you comes the fact that I am one with whom it may be well.