The expressive beauty of music

These lyrics are to a song called Mary's Song. It's written and preformed by the Tyler Ward band. A clear expression of the beautifully powerful forgiving nature of our Christ.



She let her hair fall down beside him
As the teArs fell on his feet
She had given more than who she was to the wOrld
Will you hoLd her up... or let her fall... or stand strong without wavering
With just a word I will lift you up a word of lOve can change anything

‘Cause you take aWay... please take away my pAin

I need this change things won’t ever be the same

He looked her in the eye with passion when he spoke the word that said it all
No matter what you’ve done I’ll love you and I’ll love you through it all
I'lL hold you up, it’s tearing you down, might is strong without wavering
With just a word I will lift you up a word of love can change anything

I’ll take away... I will take away your pain

You need this Change...it won't ever be the sAme

Love (luhv) - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

I don't deserve this- You. I'm not worthy of your comfort, yet you cry with me. I shouldn’t even get close to your protection- but you wrap me inside your arms- inside your thoughts. When I come with nothing, you open your hands, your time, your soul and strongly beckon me with silent caressing looks ‘til I reach your palms and melt into your embrace. You tissue my sodden eyes, grapple my quivering body, and bear the unforgiving weight of time in my stead. Your presence absorbs pain. You claim “uselessness” – curse your claim! ‘Oft I feel as if I cannot breathe without you; when I’m suffocating you come as an ocean of oxygen. Curse your claim! When I’m standing on the fringe of pain, primed to let go of my balance and collapse into the space void of hope, your body, anchored in sanity and sweet truth envelopes mine and grounds me so fast on the certainties of the Divine. Your nearness is enough- but you do not stay distant enough to be near. You crowd my breath and challenge it with who is closer. The dimensions of your beauty seem perpetual, the span of your love…incalculable.

Two things...

There were two things I told someone recently that I want in life; Space and Simplicity. Two elements I feel are stripped away by our every-day ciaos. While always desires of mine, latent at times…perhaps unidentifiable, I have recently found my way back to them.

Not my words...

These preciously convicting words from St. Augustine have weighed on my soul for many years... Just thought I would share them:


Without You I am Nothing

I call upon you, my God, my mercy, who made me, and did not forget me, although I forgot you. I call you into my soul, which you prepare to accept you by the longing that you breathe into it. Do you desert me now when i call upon you, for before I called upon you, you went ahead and helped me, and repeatedly you urged me on by many different words, so that from afar I would hear you, and be converted, and call upon you as you called to me. For you have wiped away all my evil deserts, O Lord, so as not to return them to these hands of mine, whereby I fell away from you, and you could restore them to your own hands, whereby you made me.

For before I was, you were, and I was nothing to which you could grant being. Yet, behold! I am, because of your goodness, which preceded all that you made me to be, and all out of which you made me. You did not need me, nor am I not such a good as you would put to use, O my Lord and my God. I am not such as would serve you in such wise that would would not tire out, so to speak, from activity, or that your strength would be less for the lack of my services. Nor am I such as to cultivate you like a land that would be untilled unless I tilled it. I am such a one as may serve you and cultivate you, so that because of you it may be well with me, for from you comes the fact that I am one with whom it may be well.

A recent realization

We speak of boundaries, boundaries –Boundaries between family members, co-workers, friends…Lovers, and the dangers of emotional incest. We study the distance that exists between two people that allows for conversation and the eternal struggle for equal parts autonomy and intimacy. Distance, Distance, Distance. Repulsive required distance. This quasi-philosophy is overtaking my psyche. So much so that it’s now being applied to—You, the only You that matters. I’ve placed a boundary around the limit you have to impact my soul. Curse these boundaries! Without them I’m to believe it’s pathology. But with them it’s the origin of the deepest, strongest cancer my soul’s reality can ever know.

My past few months

Recently I have found myself in the midst of a paradigm shift. A sinner pleading for Grace transformed into a Saint—striving to rid myself of all but love. Everything I clung to—beauty, safety…that very Love I used to speak of so often are being stripped away and in their place—Hate, darkness and hopelessness. My God, the very fibers of my soul cry out in fierce protest. The dichotomous environment that creates when a soul filled with His spirit is forced to stare disgusting evil in the face causes such strong repulsion. Like opposite forces of magnetic fields.

Yet here I am…wanting to run. Perhaps to paralyzed to do so—Mocked by evil. Oh so like David I feel, surrounded by a thousand better qualified, clothed in steel, yet me standing naked. This giant is relentless… monumental, the very embodiment of evil. And there’s that craving to run.

I’ve stared evil in the face—I know its name, I’ve memorized its trademark, I’ve seen its movements—its antics, its schemes and stances. Dear God this moaning, is it mine or creations? But worse—so much worse, I’ve seen those who lie in its path—STOP—so much to speak of—too much to say. STOP—you know not what you speak of.

Already I feel prostituted by darkness. So dark—so dark, so wrong, so evil—evil, evil hate filled world. How do you not hate it in return? How can I not hate, hate all of it?! Oh Father, I am so lost in this ocean of cruelty—and this is what I have to surround myself with—this is what I must breathe? Must I breathe disgusting, horrible shit?

Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? If there is another purpose for my life show me. Show me now before I contaminate myself one day more. Show me now, or let me disappear inside of you, so that this won’t ruin me.

Fill me with light. Drench me in nothing short save your perfect Grace and Purity. Oh most Holy, Sacred Christ—be my Light my pure, enduring illustrious illumination, for I am surrounded by Black.

Heal my soul.